The Trendy Sparrow: Boss Babe Book Club April Discussion: Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini

Friday, April 29, 2016

Boss Babe Book Club April Discussion: Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini

Hey all you kick butt boss babes! I hope you are slaying this Friday and getting ready to start an amazing weekend! I'm particularly excited about this month's Boss Babe Book Club discussion of Mastering Your Mean Girl by Melissa Ambrosini because I had polarizing views of the book. Unlike many of our reads, it was just an "OMG I love it" moment for me. This book made me really stop, think, and evaluate it's words. While I didn't agree with all of them, I can deeply appreciate any book that gives me that kind of reaction! So without further delay...let's get to it!


As always, don't forget to also comment your thoughts on the book, reactions to my thoughts on the book, or reactions to the thoughts of other commenters in the comments section below. Always remember to be cool, play nice, and be civil.

If I'm honest, my first reaction to the book was "what a load of hippie-dippie bull honkey" (can you tell I'm southern?). I'm grateful that I chose this as the BBBC read because I was forced to get through the book (for you lovelies). Had it been something I casually picked up on my own, I would have sent it back to Amazon after the first couple of chapters without taking the time to continue and really dive into the message of the book. What sort of put me off initially was all the talk about love....speaking from love, choosing love over fear in everything you do, love love love... to me, it sounded like a lot of pretty words from a privileged, middle to upper class hippie. Luckily, since I run this book club, I was forced to keep reading and I'm glad I did.

Even though I didn't always agree with her approach to things or the way she said it, I truly learned a lot from Mastering Your Mean Girl. I realized how much that inner voice was eating away at me telling me I'm not pretty enough, smart enough, successful enough, and so on. And now that I'm aware of it, I make a more conscious effort to silence her. I'm focusing mainly on the self-love that Melissa is talking about. I never realized how much I was affected by my own mean girl. I've always considered myself a confident, self-assured woman...but didn't realize how much of that was be putting on a mask for everyone while my inner Mean Girl told me I didn't deserve to be confident. While I've skipped most of the affirmations and such, I've started meditating and it's done wonders for my stress. Now if a customer gets upset or if we have a slow sales day, I don't tear myself apart over what I did wrong...why they don't like me...or why sales are slow. I take a few deep breaths, focus on something more positive, and remind myself to be grateful for what I have. It's insane how much taking the time to take stock of all the amazing things you have in your life to be grateful for can help you not be so concerned about the things that aren't going exactly your way. If I have a slow sales day, I don't dwell on it anymore. I know harp on myself or beat myself up. Instead I remind myself how amazing it is that I have my own business, get to work from home, and am passionate about what I do. It's amazing!

Those are truly the main things I learned from Melissa's book...

1) I have a Mean Girl. Now that I've given her a name, I know how to silence her.
2) Meditation is wonderful!
3) Comparisonitis is a disease that we MUST stop. I used to be someone who compared myself to everyone else. Especially on social media. We live in a world where it's easy to get sucked up in FOMO (fear of missing out) and compare our lives to everyone we see on instagram. Then we worry if we aren't living a great enough life because so and so is off doing this or that. It's time to stop comparing and start being grateful for what we have.
4) It's important to be grateful for what you already have. It will help you appreciate things that come your way more. Get rid of the "I will be happy when...." mentality.
5) Learning to let go will free your soul.

Now here's where I mainly disagree.... forgiveness is a judgement and that nobody is right or wrong, only doing what they think is best for them at the time. And that we should send love to those who have done us wrong. Sorry, Melissa, I don't buy it. I think it's easy to say something like that if you haven't truly, deeply been hurt. I can't help what wonder....what if someone was raped? Or a family member was murdered? Is that rapist or murder not wrong? I'm sorry, but there are somethings that are incredibly wrong and I don't think that's a judgment. I think her discussion here only applies to more trivial things. She does talk about the importance of letting go, and I do agree (regardless of the severity of the issue) that learning to let go will do wonders for you. I recently lost a close friend of mine. She was someone I spent a lot of time with and thought of as a very close friend. She turned out to not be best for me. We weren't on similar maturity levels and she was sort of a negative presence in my life. When we stopped being friends, I continued to wonder why. Even though it was clearly a toxic relationship for me, I felt like I did something wrong. Like maybe I was deserving of her friendship or any friendship for that matter. I've since learned to let her...and those associated feelings go; in large part to Melissa's words. It does nothing for me to dwell; only continues to bring up those negative emotions. Now, I'm grateful for the time we had as friends, for the things I learned from her and about myself, and I truly wish her nothing but great happiness.

So babes....what did you think of the book?

Previous Boss Babe Book Club Reads:

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